Cheryl’s Journals

On last fri nite before
I pray, I felt a heavy prompt in my heart that without realizing I’d compare
myself with others again. Deep within my heart I told God that I no longer
sense that I’m fully utilizing my skills n talents. I questioned God within my
small voice, ‘what is my talent? What is my passion? Why did I feel that I’m
living in no ways of direction & find no good things about myself’? I feel I’m
a loafer & worth nothg. It might be of the long-break in college, students
are having their final sem break for approximately 4weeks, almost like 1 month
timeframe…that was too long for me.

The question keep
popping out, ‘what have I done with the gift God has given me? Did I make use
of it? Or have I wasted it away’? after a few seconds laying down on bed, I
felt the urge to open ‘the daily bread’ ( haven’t been reading bible fr a long
while) I’d to admit that I have become lazy.

As usual, I’d
browsed through the topic index to search on related matters. My eyes spotteda
word ‘GIFTEDNESS’. Thus, I was very impatient as I read the articles it does
refreshed my spirit & give me strength. Reminding me that God creates
everybody, everything under & above the earth for its own purposes n
reasons. Nobody is created out of his mistakes or error cos God will never ever
make any mistake. One thing really surprises me was that particular ‘Giftedness’’
page was dated exactly as present > 17 JAN 08 (thurs). I wasn’t aware of it.
He says that I am not a useless person. I’m so consoled in my souls. Later it
led me to read the book of Romans chap 12. but just before I turned on the
bible… my heart keeps telling me that I needed to renew my mind and no longer
follow the pattern of the world. And there it was in Chap 12 there was a verse
revealed to me the same message about renewing your mind, do not follow the
pattern of the world. I’m grateful to God that He still speaks to me although
my heart has gone far from Him. 1 of my new year resolutions 4 this year is
asking God not to let me stray away from Him cos I know my desire for Him has
greatly decreased.

~ by cheryl82 on January 27, 2008.