Cheryl’s Journals

This morning while I was still lying down
on my slumber bed felt kinda slack cos today I don’t have to wake up early for
work. I heard noises from downstairs annoying prattle. It was actually the
chatter of my aunt, sis, mum n dad… they were talking abt somethg that I’d have
never expect to hear. After a short while, my sis came up and told me my aunt
at her very young age has jus passed away! My goodness… I couldn’ t believe it.
She is healthy, just 2-3yr old older than my mum approximately ard 48. she has
a beautiful daughter abt the same age as me and a younger son who’s still
persuing his college years in KL. She’s actually a single mother who cherished her
own dream as a hairdresser. What an astonishing news when I heard it… even when
I knew she has a happy-go-lucky life but still I won’t never expect tht she
would commit suicide!? WHY?

The fact was she owed a whole lump sum of
debts from gambling. She gambled till the point she lost everythg even her own
life. What a waste and rely pity my cousins now. 6-7yrs bck they had lost their
dad who died from asthma disease and now they are in bereavement of their mum. Deep
inside my heard I sympathize them…cos they become orphans. My family has shared
with my aunt about the goodnews but her heart was harden. A soul has been won
by the devil now and although we have told her that salvation can only be found
in Christ she wouldn’t accept that was her choice. As far as I know her late
husband truly believed in Jesus Christ. There was 1 time my uncle proclaimed to
us that He was given the 2^nd chance to life on from his threatening
illness many years ago. By the grace of God he came bck to life after walking
through the dark valley of hell, his soul was bck to his body. He kept telling
the wife to repent from all sins due to certain affair she committed but she
was still very stubborn. I just couldn’t get it… she has a good husband who
loved and be gracious to her but she despised him just becos he is poor. Due to
that she cherish her own dreams and wanted money more than anythg else. And today
she is no longer on this earth… from my aunt’s death I could only conclude 1
thing here, ‘The Choice is Yours’. She has chosen a sad ending. Just like the
ending in the movie ‘SPIDERMAN 3’. It mentioned a phrase that I truly agree…
cant quite remember but sounds somthg like this ‘YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE A GOODGUY OR A BADGUY,
TO BE GOOD OR BAD IT IS A CHOICE’. This also applies to SALVATION, now
that once our BODY is dead the SOUL will be lifted from it. There is only 2
places that our souls will go after death. It’s either HEAVEN or HELL. COMMITTING
SUICIDE isn’t a solution. It has no salvation also although that particular
person my hav accept Jesus into their life. We knw that we hav no right to take
away our life and since God has given us the breath to life it is He who will
determine our days on earth.

I always ask God, why ppl never wanted to
belief in you although we have told them abt the goodness about the
dreadfulness of going to HELL. I remember when ppl told me abt HEAVEN n HELL I will
say to them, ’Do u ever go there… how u know it’s true?’  this sounds rely sarcasm but I can tell them
now although I have never been to HEAVEN or HELL but God has been as REAL to
me. I don’t have to go to heaven to hell just to know my God is real. I FELT
HIS PRESENSE whenever I pray n worship him regardless where I am. I experience
signs n wonders. I experienced the goodness, healings and blessings from HIM. I
experience NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE in God. I experience PEACE, LOVE n JOY. I used
to fear a lot of things like…thinking abt where I would end up after death but
now I no longer feel that. It is the promised of God, ‘Those who called out the
name of Jesus, will be saved’.

To my aunt… may she recall the name of
Jesus… let her soul rest in peace.

~ by cheryl82 on May 28, 2007.